It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize