I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
