OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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