She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
