wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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