evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
