Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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