It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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