Dual....:-)
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
