Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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