when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
