I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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