it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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