so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
