Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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