I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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