Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
