...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
