Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
