dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
