well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
