does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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