she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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