You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
