Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
