we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
