Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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