i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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