The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize