how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
