Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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