and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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