Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
