does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
