in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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