If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
