The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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