Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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