Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
