My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
