just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
