you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
