Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize