Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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