marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
