he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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