I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
