he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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