you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
