Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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