They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
