4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
