If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
