There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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