In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize