i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
