i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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