I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I just sharted jello shots
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize