stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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