Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
